My Dear Loki
by Lyrieux
Summary: More of a drabble than fic. Loki left someone unimportant behind when he fell from the Bifrost. A letter is the result of a morning of tears.


_**My Dear Loki**_

__The woman, riddled with tears, her hair unkempt and her hands shaking, made her way over to the glass desk situated in the corner of her small room. She dropped onto the cushioned stool positioned in front of it as if her legs could no longer keep her weight and lay her head into her arms, upon the desk. The news that had travelled faster than the wind over the Bifrost on a stormy winters day, had reached everyone's ears before noon and had thrown the young woman into uncharted areas of emotional distress and fear. She looked up to stare solemnly out of the window for a few moments, her head still somewhat resting in her arms, before wiping away the final tears which strolled slowly from her eyes; she could not find any more to shed.

Still whimpering between sobs, she stretched out her arm and took a piece of brilliant white parchment from the folder upon her desk. She again wiped her eyes; they grew more red and sore each time she did so, supposedly wiping away the tears in which she longed to be able to cry. Once she had picked up a pen, she began to scratch words down onto the parchment, stopping to both think and release emotions.

_Loki,_

_I have only just heard the news of your fall from the Bifrost, this morning, and it is quite easy to say I cannot hold in my emotions. What happened? Why did it happen? You father refuses to answer our questions as simple residents of Asgard and I do not believe that he is talking to anyone else, either. I know we were to keep things quiet between us, but I had to tell someone; Elle from next-door heard me crying... and she wanted to know why. Everyone feels the pain of losing you, but she noticed that I felt more; I had no choice but to tell her, please understand._

_I know you aren't dead... I know it, I feel it. I know that you are alive but whether or not I will ever see you again is something that my mind cannot even begin to comprehend at the moment. I need you, Loki, as I always have. The only thing getting me through this tough, devilish time is the thoughts and memories of the time we spent together; in secret. But through these thoughts, one thing remains, one thing that is like a steel blade plunging into my heart; What if we had told your father about us? What if your family knew? Maybe it would have been different, maybe none of this negativity or pain would have happened. Perhaps we would have been happy, your mother supportive. I can only wonder... In all honesty it wouldn't have gone that way and that is why you decided to keep it secret. Your father would have disapproved and its all because of me. If I was more of a Lady... if I was higher up in the hierarchy then maybe none of this would have happened and you would have still been here and we could have been together properly..._

_Do you know what I have been thinking of most of the day? I was thinking about that time you shape-shifted into a cat just to get out of the palace...just to come and see me. I laugh every time I remember you getting picked up by some of the children at the stables and carried around like some sort of trophy. They kept complementing the 'kitty's' lovely green eyes and trying to feed 'it' cheese. You didn't once lose your temper with them, despite being pulled around and squashed by their over-excited arms. They hadn't ever seen a cat quite like you. When you sat in the corner of the stable and began to read a book, the hysterical laughter that filled it stays with me to this day; sure you can be a mischievous little sod, but you have a loving, caring side. Never once were you violent towards me; despite what people would say._

_I find myself laughing. Once the children had ran home, to bed, you walked me home. Only changing back into your Godly form when we got to the door into my room; the room I am writing this letter in now. You surprised me by wrapping your arms around me from behind lacing your fingers together across my stomach. You rested your head on my shoulder and waited for me to open the door; delicately kissing my neck. You came in and we just talked while sat on my bed; pointing out of the window at various stars, telling me stories._

_You always used to tell me stories. They ranged from battles in which you have fought side by side with your brother to the times when you were still a child; fighting with Thor over your fathers affection and pride. I see now why you were so distant from them; it scared me. It genuinely frightened me when you just disappeared for a month or so... whatever you did still haunts my mind but I knew you were safe the night you turned up at my door._

_I'm rambling, aren't I? Its comforting, and maybe it'll be comforting for you when you read this. Yes, it is when, not if._

_Loki? Do you remember when we first ran into each other? You were in such a bad temper that you had stormed out of the main city and into the forest. We were having that bad bout of weather and everything was frozen solid and covered in snow reaching your knees. You waded through it as fast as you could in your foul temper, eventually coming across my tracks. I can only imagine that you were somewhat intrigued as to why someone was out in that weather; so you followed them._

_Eventually coming to the lake, you released some of your anger in a burst of magic, aimed at the ice; which was the lake until the night before and the freezing temperatures. The ice began to crack... and only when you were tracing the growing cracks with your eyes, did you see that a woman was skating on it; me. I can only imagine what was going though your mind when I tried to stop, but skidded towards the crack instead. My skate got caught on the crack and I fell onto the weakened ice; which gave way under my weight and I plunged into the icy cold water below._

_I can remember thinking... well... asking myself why I was in the water; and then the sheer temperature hit me. The freezing temperature of the water hit my lungs like a knock-back charm and felt like someone was running knives down my insides. Even when I did eventually manage to bring me head from the water, I could not breathe properly. I dipped under a few more times before a hand gripped itself strongly onto my collar and dragged me out of the water. I remember flailing around, trying to get as far away from the water as possible as well as trying to see my saviour; all was in vain, since I no longer had the energy to move and simply collapsed; unconscious. _

_When I awoke, I was in the clearing in the forest; lying on the ground, with my head elevated by a cushion of magic and a cloak draped over me to keep me warm. There was also a small fire, not too far from me; which was providing more warmth and a little light; since the sun had gone down and the stars had graced my view. I sat up. I was cold and was finding it hard to keep my eyes open; they burned in their sockets and a dull ache resided in my head and limbs. I cant have been in the water for any longer than a moment; but it had seemed like so much longer._

_Looking around, I could see no signs of anyone else. My saviour could not be seen. That was, until a hand rested itself on my shoulder and pushed me back so I was lying down again. Your green eyes were the first thing I noticed; they shone in the light of the fire and, though subtle, passed an air of apologies and sympathy. I knew who you were instantly; your raven black hair, emerald eyes, strapped-leather armour and horned helmet; You were Odin's son, Loki. I knew as much as any one, that you were not best when caught on a bad day, or caught at all for that matter. Your socialisation with the lower in the hierarchy in Asgard was a rarity, and even being out of the palace grounds was uncommon, which made me feel somewhat uneasy; You were far from the palace and it was dark._

_"How are you?" You asked me, keeping your tone of voice low. You were knelt, on one knee, next to me; your hand still on my shoulder. I didn't know how to respond; I was freezing cold and shivering to the extent I couldn't open my mouth without my teeth chattering together. I looked away from our eyes and around at the landscape we were surrounded by. You couldn't see any further than the clearing; the snow not helping at all. "We need to get you back into the city. I couldn't move you until you awoke." I just looked up at you while you whistled. "We'll meet the horse on the way."_

_You sat me up slowly and wrapped your cloak tighter around me, over my arms and around my back. You squeezed my shoulders in comfort before carefully sliding your arm under my knees and the other around my shoulder-blades; lifting me up into your chest. I drew in a sharp breath at the gesture, thinking that really... I should walk, not have a Prince carry me._  
><em>"I can walk..." I mumbled, trying to stop myself from moving closer into your chest; your warmth was radiating and comforting.<em>  
><em>"I think not." You stopped walking to speak and look down at me, before adjusting your grip and carrying on.<em>  
><em>"Really... I'll be-"<em>  
><em>"No."<em>

_Your stern tone of voice sent me into a phase of silence. I did not dare mutter another word; I had already done the damage. I felt as if I had disobeyed you... or annoyed you.  
>"You're quiet... how are you feeling?" You asked, taking a moment from guiding the little ball of light you had conjured to see where we were going, to look down at me.<br>"Um... I'm okay now." I muttered.  
>"I see through lies as easily as you see through clear water." You kept your eyes guiding the ball of light, your pace quickening at the sound of hooves. "How do you honestly feel?" <em>

_"Cold...Tired..." I couldn't really describe properly how I was feeling; and it wasn't just feelings of illness either. I had let my heart slip...  
>"We'll soon have you warmed up and lively." You muttered, as the horse you had whistled for earlier stopped a few feet in front of us. "How are you with horses?" I shook my head, eyes wide.<em>

_My legs lay across your lap on the horse, much like I was when you were carrying me. My arms were looped around your neck and you held me with one arm, the other concentrating on manoeuvring the horse through the trees; towards the city._  
><em>"Fall asleep if you wish." You said, taking a moment to move a piece of hair from my face.<em>  
><em>"I'll be fine..." I yawned, not entirely sure that I would stay awake for the entire journey. We were a fair way out of the City. "You do not have to move me back to the city..." I began, before you interrupted me;<em>  
><em>"Of course I do. Twas my fault that you fell into the icy depths, not your own. My foul mood got the better of me and it was at your expense. For that I can only give you my apologies and at least make you well again. As a prince of Asgard, I am sworn to protect my people and by letting my emotions get the better of me, I put you in danger; in which case, I failed."<em>  
><em>"You have an awful lot resting upon your shoulders, you have not failed." I said, somewhat snuggling into you; my head made the excuse that I was cold while my heart said otherwise. I fell asleep, gently brushing against your chest while the horse moved.<em>

_I awoke in unfamiliar surroundings. I was in a large bed with satin sheets and a subtle glow over me; gold in colour. The room was vast and obviously very grand, with a copper coloured floor and a large balcony, which appeared to look over the City. I slowly sat up, one hand on my forehead. My head was spinning and I felt as if I had been kicked in the ribs; but I was much warmer than I was._

_I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and sat there for a moment; admiring the early-morning sun and the clothing in which I was now wearing. An off-white tunic was now what I wore along with a pair of matching off-white flared trousers; both with tiny gold detailing. Where my original clothing was, I didn't know, but I went with it and tried to stand up. I failed and fell backwards into something; that something happened to be you, Loki._  
><em>"You should not be out of bed." Your cool voice said into my ear. I said nothing as you sat me back down and then proceeded to sit beside me. Your smile was the most haunting and yet attractive thing I had ever seen, and it has not left my mind; not even to this day.<em>

_Please, Loki... find some way of telling me that you are all right. Please._

The woman stood from her seat at the desk and took the piece of parchment to her window. She proceeded to fold it and place it into a black envelope while glancing out at the city before her. A few moments passed, and she was walking towards the Bifrost with the letter in hand; avoiding all contact, merely meandering through the crowds to get to her destination.

She was stood, precariously close to the edge of the Bifrost; being watched by Heimdall; guarding the gates. She kissed the envelope before letting it go; watching it fall through space and time; off the Bifrost and into the unknown.

As he turned on her heels to walk away, a tear escaped her eye.


End file.
